Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire's eye or on the ball.
Like Umpire Eye
A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth.
Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.
Good Loser You Man
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.
Luck First Had
Any political party that includes the word 'democratic' in its name, isn't.
Political Party Party
The only difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road is that there are skid marks around the skunk.