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How many observe Christ's birthday! How few, His precepts!
religion Religion christmas
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
Her Remembers Man
My girlfriend bought me a collared shirt for my birthday, mainly so I don’t get too far ahead of her when she takes me for a walk.
relationships dogs animals
But we're going to smile and pretend we're fine with the dorky birthmas gifts because people do not get that they can't mush a birthday into christmas.
humor
I called to wish you an unhappy birthday because you're evil and you lie and if you should die I may feel slightly sad, but I won't cry.
Evil
Death smells like birthday cake.
Death
Just to show my dad that I think he's number one, I bought him a urinal cake for his birthday.
Funny humor dad
I grabbed a pile of dust, and holding it up, foolishly asked for as many birthdays as the grains of dust, I forgot to ask that they be years of youth.
birthday
My birthday is on a holiday, I just have to wait until I die and they commemorate me.
Death birthday holiday
Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake--you know, to send the right message to kids.
gay gay-rights
Birthdays could be such a bummer when you were older than the country you lived in.
life birthday aging
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
birthday statistics-humor
