Dear Teens at Starbucks wearing 'Abstain from Sex 2 Attain Ur Goals' t-shirts: Doesn't it depend on what my goals are?
twitter teens humor
No woman ever ages beyond eighteen in her heart.
God has given us more than fourteen billion cells and connections in our brain. Why would God give us such a complex organ system unless he expects us to use it?
When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.
I talked to a calzone for fifteen minutes last night before I realized it was just an introverted pizza. I wish all my acquaintances were so tasty.
pizza lonely realization
Fuck the pack. I gave them fifteen years of my life. I fought for them, bled for them, and the moment my back was turned, they attacked my wife. I owe them nothing.
humourous alpha-male Life
Girls under the age of fourteen are the most frightening creatures I have ever come across. - Jonah Griggs
Having your own, um, cave at eighteen is pretty cool.
Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.
People get stupid when they're in love; people want what they can't have; and the years between ages twelve and eighteen always, always suck.
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
There's a difference between preferring books to parties and preferring sixteen cats to seeing the light of day.
Humor introverts humor